Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
