he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
