Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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