Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
