She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
