just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize