The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
