good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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