I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
