Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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