i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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