Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
