one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
