this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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