I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
