well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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