I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
