i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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