I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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