just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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