sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to make out with him forever
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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