Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
