Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
