2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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