there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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