i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
