how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
