Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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