I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
