Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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