Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
