you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
