I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
