I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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