It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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