How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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