ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
