This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
