none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
