so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
