dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
