Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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