how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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