My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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