You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
