whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
