I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
don't judge my taste in strippers
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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