So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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