I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
