at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
40s are totally the cure
Randomize
