From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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