i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
