I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
