I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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