I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
