He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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