your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
