I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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