Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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