This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
