no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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