dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
