I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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