i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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