I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
