how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
