So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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