this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
