I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
