i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
