i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I understand Curling. That high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
