The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize