Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
