I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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