this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
