I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
